ok now this is a hot topic...!! it was just that today i was planning to meet my friends for a cofffee and a movie and so i as usual got up and came down.....to see my parents busy having a hot cup of coffee in the morning...i usually avoid getting out of my house on sundays, no wonder as papa is at home so as he is a bit consevrvative i have to be indoors, but then i was shifting to baroda next day which was around an hour or two away from the city i had to meet my friends before i left.
so as i came down , i called up my driver to come and pick me up and i got ready....my dad gave me a weird look as i came down after gettin ready "where are you going!?" he asked and that was an obvious question so i told him how i was planning to spend time with my friends today...and suddenly he got furious and kept a weirdest condition , he handed me over a chit and said "please note down how many boys and how many girls are going , write down their phone numbers , write down even their addresses"
this condition made me stare as daddy's face for a while...i didnt like it obviously as i wasnt a kid anymore...and this is a natural reaction among teenagers and specially late teens ...but i obeyed..
i coulnt understand the reason behind dads behaviour though so i asked mum, but she was worse..even though i had informed her about my plans the previous night
then suddenly my dad finally opened up and said " you should have been up in the morning and seen the news ..friends raped/kidnapped their own friend who was of almost your age "
i didnt know how to react that time....as i was all set to leave...being parents they were ok on their part , and they did what every parent should do, but the negativity enters when they dont do it once but do it everyday...
as in surprisingly i since i was in primary school i have seen my parents continuously watching crime news and crime news and more crime news......and very rarely something that is positive....
we all know the world is not safe and its going worse...and tht is enough to make us negative specially girls and children who are young..but then i thought being parents they should not only warn us but also encourage us to take care of ourselves......and make us strong to face the world... because if they dont encourage us then who would...after all their children will be the ones to take care of them later , and that is pnly possible when they realise they should be CAREFUL NOT SCARED!!
so now what do you think....parents are confused as they love their children and want them to be safe..but the fact is that there is a difference between awaking and scaring your kids, you have to make them aware and teach them to be careful .....as that can help them to be safe instead if you keep them locked up ....soon parents as we all realize the fact that soon they are to grow up and just because you scared them and didn't aware them they wont know what self -protection is...so make them strong and safe....not weak and your explanation and open talks are the only way through this :-)
love you all
Sunday, 10 July 2011
understanding the feelings of your "ONLY CHILD"......
hellooo all,
well i am heena aka twinkle and i am blogging for the first time today, i dont really know much about all the blogging that people do but i thought why not give it a shot
well about myself i am from india , basically from himachal and i am a punjabi gal brought up in gujarat...i am here to share my experiences in life and may be get some suggestions which i think could solve my problems, answer my un answered questions and also help those young boys and girls who could relate to them , i will be posting things that i face these days and experience and many others do
to begin with "PEER PRESSURE SPECIALLY ON INDIAN GIRLS"
I know its a common topic but here in my life i have experienced it a bit differently, when i grew up i used to enjoy looking at the mirror and posing and dancing ....my mum used to warn me "beta(daughter) you should not spend so much of time in front of the mirror , its not meant for girls who wana be something big or who wana be educated .... i used to hear that very often from my mother...but i had my own dreams, i didnt realise where was life taking me....i was dreaming of becoming a scientist , doctor and something big like that,,, i was the eldest of all and the only child to my parents
i was loved by all and we all lived together in a family but later after i turned 3 my dad and mum and other married couples like my aunts and uncles seperated and started living in seperate houses, me being the eldest had to set an example to my upcoming little brothers and sister , my grandfather had high expectations from me...but then i had my own passion , i still didnt realise where i was going though
i started with a good school in ahmedabad,....life went smooth but i realised from schooling to college i had always been in the lime light , studies werent as important as something else that interested me....may be GLAMOUROUS WORLD? i got the hint when i was asked for my first beauty pageant in da city tht was "miss ahmedabad" i thought ok lets give it a shot and olaaaa...i won the crown....that feeling was outstanding for others i was just some gal who won a small pageant but i felt i was miss universes..i could see my mother cheering me up :-) i was 15 that time
But thn again i was reminded "beta you are the only one you have to set an example" so i was again forced to focus on my books...
why does it happen...i mean.....till date i have won a number of pageants , featured in many magzines and have been doing great still i am 19 and i still hear the same sentence "beta you have to set an example"
my mother supports me both ways....as all mothers do i mean most of..my father doesnt know that i have been to mumbai so many times , my grandfather doesnt have any clue abt my being a model .....my father comes to see my shows often but hasnt taken any ineterst so far...
so i have chosen to study as well as continue modelling...but there is something missing...may b e peace of mind...?
it often happenes...you feel that you are somewhat bounded and wana be free and you are going to be teared or split in to two parts..specially for girls it way too hard..
being the only child you live two lives ...one for your family as in the way they wish to see you ...and one for your passion and dreams ..coz at the end life is just for once ..its either now or never....so if you are the only child and that too a girl....what would you do...follow your passion for life or forever live a life designed by your parents....?
doesnt that make you feel you are lacking peace of mind.....i hereby request all the parents who are reading my blog....if you love your kids and if you have just one child let him/her live his/her dream....if you wont understand who else would....its just you and you who can love and understand them...if you dont let them decide what they want to do...they will not hate you if they are good children of yours but yes..in future when they become parents , they will say to their kids "my parents failed to understand me at this point but i wont" how would you feel then , remember parents we are your kids we love you and please dont discrimintae between your children
the only child of yours also dreams of freedom , he/she also has talent , expectations and hopes let them go ..set them free as they grow......i promise by gods grace you will never regret it.....but if you wont allow tht they might become something big...but somewhere parents "you will be as responsible for robbing their genuine smiles of their faces as you will be for their becoming what you wanted them to be....then decide what have you made them .....great people or great puppets and have you actually been good parents..think again!
god bless you all,
hope you liked my first blog
well i am heena aka twinkle and i am blogging for the first time today, i dont really know much about all the blogging that people do but i thought why not give it a shot
well about myself i am from india , basically from himachal and i am a punjabi gal brought up in gujarat...i am here to share my experiences in life and may be get some suggestions which i think could solve my problems, answer my un answered questions and also help those young boys and girls who could relate to them , i will be posting things that i face these days and experience and many others do
to begin with "PEER PRESSURE SPECIALLY ON INDIAN GIRLS"
I know its a common topic but here in my life i have experienced it a bit differently, when i grew up i used to enjoy looking at the mirror and posing and dancing ....my mum used to warn me "beta(daughter) you should not spend so much of time in front of the mirror , its not meant for girls who wana be something big or who wana be educated .... i used to hear that very often from my mother...but i had my own dreams, i didnt realise where was life taking me....i was dreaming of becoming a scientist , doctor and something big like that,,, i was the eldest of all and the only child to my parents
i was loved by all and we all lived together in a family but later after i turned 3 my dad and mum and other married couples like my aunts and uncles seperated and started living in seperate houses, me being the eldest had to set an example to my upcoming little brothers and sister , my grandfather had high expectations from me...but then i had my own passion , i still didnt realise where i was going though
i started with a good school in ahmedabad,....life went smooth but i realised from schooling to college i had always been in the lime light , studies werent as important as something else that interested me....may be GLAMOUROUS WORLD? i got the hint when i was asked for my first beauty pageant in da city tht was "miss ahmedabad" i thought ok lets give it a shot and olaaaa...i won the crown....that feeling was outstanding for others i was just some gal who won a small pageant but i felt i was miss universes..i could see my mother cheering me up :-) i was 15 that time
But thn again i was reminded "beta you are the only one you have to set an example" so i was again forced to focus on my books...
why does it happen...i mean.....till date i have won a number of pageants , featured in many magzines and have been doing great still i am 19 and i still hear the same sentence "beta you have to set an example"
my mother supports me both ways....as all mothers do i mean most of..my father doesnt know that i have been to mumbai so many times , my grandfather doesnt have any clue abt my being a model .....my father comes to see my shows often but hasnt taken any ineterst so far...
so i have chosen to study as well as continue modelling...but there is something missing...may b e peace of mind...?
it often happenes...you feel that you are somewhat bounded and wana be free and you are going to be teared or split in to two parts..specially for girls it way too hard..
being the only child you live two lives ...one for your family as in the way they wish to see you ...and one for your passion and dreams ..coz at the end life is just for once ..its either now or never....so if you are the only child and that too a girl....what would you do...follow your passion for life or forever live a life designed by your parents....?
doesnt that make you feel you are lacking peace of mind.....i hereby request all the parents who are reading my blog....if you love your kids and if you have just one child let him/her live his/her dream....if you wont understand who else would....its just you and you who can love and understand them...if you dont let them decide what they want to do...they will not hate you if they are good children of yours but yes..in future when they become parents , they will say to their kids "my parents failed to understand me at this point but i wont" how would you feel then , remember parents we are your kids we love you and please dont discrimintae between your children
the only child of yours also dreams of freedom , he/she also has talent , expectations and hopes let them go ..set them free as they grow......i promise by gods grace you will never regret it.....but if you wont allow tht they might become something big...but somewhere parents "you will be as responsible for robbing their genuine smiles of their faces as you will be for their becoming what you wanted them to be....then decide what have you made them .....great people or great puppets and have you actually been good parents..think again!
god bless you all,
hope you liked my first blog
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